Is your child 6 years old and insists on sleeping with you every night? You may have heard conflicting opinions: some say “let it be, they’ll grow out of it,” while others insist that “it’s wrong.”
But what is the truth? And ultimately, what can it mean when a 6-year-old child does not sleep alone?
Let’s take a look at what lies behind this habit, because it is NOT simply a matter of a “spoiled child,” and what you can do to help—without feeling guilty.
Why can’t a 6-year-old child sleep alone?
1. Insecurity and fear of abandonment
At this age, children have vivid imaginations. They may be afraid of the dark, separation, or even… silence. Many children associate nighttime with loneliness or loss.
2. Changes in the family
A separation, a new sibling, or even parental anxiety can cause a child to seek more physical closeness.
3. A habit that started… without you realizing it
A “temporary solution” that became permanent. Maybe they got sick once and slept with you. Maybe “just this once, to calm them down.” Six months later, it’s the new routine.
4. Overprotective parenting style
Sometimes, the child gets the “signal” that they are not “capable” enough to sleep alone. And they adopt this role.
If you are having problems with your child, see here how parenting counseling can help you.
Is it wrong to sleep with you?
There is no absolute right or wrong, but…
What can cause problems:
- Dependence and reduced autonomy
- The child does not learn to “endure” the night alone, so it is difficult for them to gradually become independent.
- It affects your sleep and rest
- If you wake up every few minutes or sleep on the edge of the bed, your body and mind suffer.
- Competition or jealousy within the couple
- Many parents feel that
- They are “losing” their connection as a couple when their child shares their bed.
When is it okay, temporarily:
- When there is a major upheaval in the child’s life (e.g., moving house, bereavement).
- When you consciously choose it and have a transition plan.
- When it does not affect your functionality and your relationship with your child or partner.
What can you do ?
1. Recognize the emotional need, not the “behavior.”
Don’t say, “You’re a big boy now.” Instead, you can say:
“I understand that you feel safe with me. Would you like me to help you feel that way in your own bed?”
2. Small steps toward independence
- Read them a story in their room.
- Stay with them for a few minutes until they fall asleep.
- Gradually reduce your presence.
3. Establish a consistent bedtime routine
Same time, same ritual. A relaxing bath, a favorite stuffed animal, soft music. Predictability is reassuring.
4. Tell them what you expect
No threats. Clear, calm communication:
“Starting tonight, you will sleep in your own room. I will be nearby, but I will trust you to manage.”
5. Compensate for the separation with quality time during the day
Hugs, play, conversation. If they feel “full” of you, they won’t demand you at bedtime.
When you should ask help?
If they child:
- They experience intense anxiety or phobias.
- They display excessive dependence during the day.
- The issue of sleep causes conflicts or fatigue at home.
- There are underlying difficulties in the parent-child relationship.
then parental counseling can be very helpful. You don’t have to wait for things to “get worse.” In fact, the sooner you start, the smoother the transition will be.
You ask me, I answer your SOS questions
Is it normal for a 6-year-old child to sleep with his parents?
Yes, it happens often. It is not “abnormal,” but if it continues, it is a good idea to consider what message you are sending—and what he is missing.
How can I get them to stop sleeping with me without crying?
With gradual change, reassurance, clear intention, and consistency. You need to show them that you trust them.
Is it bad for his psychology?
Not necessarily. However, if the child remains dependent and does not gain autonomy, his self-confidence may be affected in the long run.
What should I do if they wake up in the middle of the night and come to me?
Patience and consistency. You can take them back to their room or stay with them there for a while. Set boundaries.
If I feel guilty about sending them away, am I a bad parent?
No. On the contrary, you are helping them build inner security. Independence is not a “punishment”—it is a gift.
If you feel that your relationship with your child has become “confused” by their sleep and needs, we are here to help.
Parenting counseling gives you space, understanding, and strategies to see clearly what you and your child need.
